Worst. Parent. Ever.
Have you ever felt like that? I think it's more of a female tendency, though I'm sure men have their moments... We all have times when we make mistakes, but what about those times when what we do is deliberate?
He's comfortable here.
He's too comfortable.
|Photo courtesy of Pandiyan and Flickr|
It's time for my son to leave the nest. There are so many things he needs to learn, most of which won't be discovered while living with me. We actually had this discussion a while ago - 8 months ago to be exact. I told him it was time for him to move out and gave him a year to do so. Honestly, I was surprised it took him so long. I guess I didn't realize just how comfortable he was.
He moved out just over a week ago, and after five days on his own I stopped by to see his apartment. It was pitiful. His furniture consisted of a new bed he purchased and an old end table that had been in his room here. The living room had a pile of blankets in one corner and a small tv on the floor in the opposite corner. The only thing in the refrigerator was leftover pizza which he ate cold because he doesn't have a microwave and didn't think to use the oven.
I asked him if he liked living on his own and he replied, "No". He said he was lonely. Of course much of this was due to the fact that he'd been stuck in the apartment all day waiting for the cable guy to show up. He'd been told the guy would be there between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m. I could almost hear my dad's voice saying, "Welcome to the real world." Instead, that's when the refrain started running through my head:
Worst. Parent. Ever.
Now, even if it feels like it, I know that's not true. I think one day he'll even thank me for encouraging him to go out on his own. I know his wife will, whoever she may be.
I began wondering if this is how God feels when we're going through difficult times? Does he hate seeing us struggle, but allow it because it's the only way we're going to grow? If I'm honest, I have to say I'm more likely to lose sight of Him when I'm comfortable. Growth comes when I'm clinging to Him, and I'm clinging to Him when life gets difficult.
The Lord will give you meager bread and water during oppression, but your Teacher will not hide Himself any longer. Your eyes will see your Teacher. ~ Isaiah 30:20 HCSB
Maybe this is exactly what my son needs, not only to learn to be independent, but to learn to rely on God. I am certain he's saved, but I also know he keeps God at a distance. He did leave his Harry Potter books here, but he packed his Bible. I take that as a very good sign!
Lord, I thank You for the comfort that comes from knowing my son belongs to You. I pray You will use this experience to strengthen his relationship with You and develop him into a man after Your own heart. Thank You for loving me enough to move me out of my comfort zone and closer to You.
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