One would think that a book about porn addiction would only appeal to a niche market, but that's not the case with "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART - A Couple's Journey to Freedom from Pornography." This book has something for everyone, and that's great news because I have a copy to give away!Jen and Craig Ferguson not only speak honestly and courageously about Craig's porn addiction; they share, step by step, how they've navigated these murky waters to a place of healing.
While I did not expect to see myself or my husband in this book, the truth is that I saw us both. The message "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART" delivers will resonate not only with anyone dealing with any type of addiction, but with all married couples as well. That is because this book is not only about addiction but about relationships in general as well.
See if you recognize yourself or your spouse in these words from Jen:
"I don't know about your situation, but my husband has a bit of a rebellious streak in him...He saw the rules as something designed to constrain him, thus, he would look for ways to break free from what he viewed as my tight grasp of his behavior. As such, he would engage in behaviors he knew would hurt me deeply. He would spend hours playing video games. He would neglect to help me around the house. He wouldn't talk to me about anything of real substance...
The rules we had set up to create a pathway to freedom ended up becoming a locked-down prison. The padlock was fear; the key was surrender... Everything I had done to try to save my husband only seemed to make matters worse. When I look back at myself...I can see clearly that every single one of the rules we had implemented was rooted in fear. My sneaking and scheming to try to catch him in the act was motivated by fear. My threatening and chastising was instigated by fear. I had been like a military dictator that wanted precise order and regulation because, like most dictators, I was afraid that something or someone more powerful than me would take over."
Still not sure this book has something for you? The book is divided into 6 segments and each of these consists of 3 chapters - one written from Jen's perspective, one written from Craig's perspective and a third chapter to help you work through the topic they've just presented. If you love God's Word then you will love these third chapters. They go beyond sharing relevant Scriptures and give in-depth explanations of the verses that allow you to see Scripture in an entirely new light.
If you'd like to enter to win a copy of "PURE EYES, CLEAN HEART" please leave a comment below this post. Receive an extra entry for sharing this post on Facebook or Twitter (let me know if you've done this in the comments.) Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. on Monday December 1, 2014 when a winner will be chosen by random draw. U.S. and Canadian residents only, please.
AND THE WINNER IS....Beth! Congratulations!
*I was given a copy of this book to read and critique, plus a second copy to give away but this in no way influenced my review. All opinions are strictly my own.
Lisa
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I've been known to link up with: Sharing His Beauty, Create with Joy, Playdates with God, Make Your Home Sing, Monday's Musings, Monday's Reflections, Inspire Me Monday, Unite, M,M and M, Monday Musings, Whole-Hearted Home, Soli Deo Gloria, Tell Me a Story, Titus 2sdays, Growing Homemakers, Women Helping Women, Wise Woman, Tell His Story, Works for Me Wednesday, Winsome Wednesday, Wordless Wednesday, Wednesdays Prayer Girls, Three Word Wednesday, Whimsical Wednesday, Messy Marriage, A Little R&R, Wholehearted Wednesdays, From House to Home, The Girls Link Up, Doing You Well Wednesday, God's Girl, Think Tank Thursday, Thriving Thursday, The HomeAcre Hop, Little Things Thursdays, Thursday Favorite Things, Mama Kats Losin’ it, Thrive at Home, Cozy Book Hop, Inspire Me Please, Thrifty Things Friday, Spiritual Sunday, Faith Filled Friday, Friendship Friday, Heart-Filled Fridays, #Fellowship Fridays, Essential Things, Best Blog Post Ever, Make My Saturday Sweet, The Weekend Brew, Write on Edge, Frugal Friday, Think Pink Sunday, Sunday Stillness
I've been known to link up with: Sharing His Beauty, Create with Joy, Playdates with God, Make Your Home Sing, Monday's Musings, Monday's Reflections, Inspire Me Monday, Unite, M,M and M, Monday Musings, Whole-Hearted Home, Soli Deo Gloria, Tell Me a Story, Titus 2sdays, Growing Homemakers, Women Helping Women, Wise Woman, Tell His Story, Works for Me Wednesday, Winsome Wednesday, Wordless Wednesday, Wednesdays Prayer Girls, Three Word Wednesday, Whimsical Wednesday, Messy Marriage, A Little R&R, Wholehearted Wednesdays, From House to Home, The Girls Link Up, Doing You Well Wednesday, God's Girl, Think Tank Thursday, Thriving Thursday, The HomeAcre Hop, Little Things Thursdays, Thursday Favorite Things, Mama Kats Losin’ it, Thrive at Home, Cozy Book Hop, Inspire Me Please, Thrifty Things Friday, Spiritual Sunday, Faith Filled Friday, Friendship Friday, Heart-Filled Fridays, #Fellowship Fridays, Essential Things, Best Blog Post Ever, Make My Saturday Sweet, The Weekend Brew, Write on Edge, Frugal Friday, Think Pink Sunday, Sunday Stillness
Thank you for writing this, Lisa! I am so grateful for you!
You're right, I would not have thought that book would have anything that pertains to me or my marriage. But fear? ah, that does pertain to some of the decisions I've made in my life.
I love that they wrote this book together. That alone makes me want to read it and it's on my reading list. I just need a few more hours in the day to read. :) Thank you for sharing your wonderful review. Blessings to you.
I could tell you too much, I suppose. I was raised with porn in our house, our area, our wide family. All six of us, me the oldest by nearly 5 years, were molested and raped and beaten. It was a miracle how the Lord broke into me as the first when I was 20 and have often said that if He had not, I would have been dead long ago from extreme alcoholism, violence, or suicide. Now I've been a missionary [mostly Uganda] and a prayer warrior. I used a bit of it in my book, "The Annie Project" that Jen has actually shared it. I'm also working on my Uganda book now, and when it's published, I think you would like it. Fictional/non-fictional but, overall, truthful. AND re: me as my life issue, the blessing is that my dad came to the Lord 5 years before he died as a 65 yr old man, and my mom came to the Lord officially when she was 80 after 60 years of alcohol and she died nearly 4 years ago at 90. ALSO, my dad was a personal aborted husband/dad. I'll see some of my other sisters/brother in heaven when mom didn't want to keep having babies. Out of us, only 2 of my sisters have wandered significantly away from the Lord. anyhow, Lisa, you have been much on my heart lately, and I didn't know how to reach you, haven't seen your pieces for a long time. I would truly LOVE to get in touch, because, when it comes to eastern Africa situations, we'd have a lot of the same in mind. Bless you. I'm sorry to be talking so much and so long, but I don't have another way to reach you. You grabbed my heart today!!!
Evil is present in this world, not just with sought out porn, but it is present in TV series, movies and of course the inter-net. May God help us to keep our eyes on the narrow path. Thanks Lisa for sharing this book with us here at Tell me a story.
What a huge need in the church today. With hope that the telling of their story will lead other couples to the freedom they're longing for.
So good to meet you today, Lisa!
I've heard so many great things about Jen's book. I'd love to read it. I'm glad you pointed out that it's not just for those struggling with porn addictions in their marriage, but for all. We all have issues we need to work on!
For so long, I thought rules provided safety - and, yes, they do - your example shows how sometimes rule light the fire under rebellion. I agree - it sounds like a relationship book for people striving to build healthier relationships all around! I've got a question for Jenn - did you see your book as you were writing it as a message for all couples - or was that a God-surprise that came after you completed it?
Thank you all for your comments! To answer Bluecottonmemory: I realized while we were writing it that you could substitute "porn" for any other addiction or stronghold in a marriage. What I didn't realize was how much "day-to-day" marriage stuff God would also add in there - from approaching your spouse about differing opinions to how to cultivate again that first sense passion from early in our relationship.